Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

"Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you."

This song may specifically be about addiction, but this is what it means to me. To me, when I hear this song, I think about myself. I think about the times when I feel like I am doing no good to the people in my life. I make mistake after mistake and end up hurting the people I love. I reach the point when I believe that those people can do so much better without me in their lives. This conclusion comes from caring too much and not being happy with oneself. I understand that this is not positive thinking. Whether you are in this place, or know someone who is, reach out to them. The people in this place need someone willing to push through the anger and help them stand. 

These lyrics are from "Hate Me" by Blue October.

Peace and Love. Leah.

Free to stand beside the ocean in moonlight.

"Free to stand beside the ocean in moonlight
And light myself a smoke beneath the dark Atlantic sky."

I do realize that I have done Yellowcard lyrics before, but these lines have stuck with me. They are from the song "Back Home" by Yellowcard. Yes, they are from their Ocean Avenue album, but I encourage you to listen to the acoustic version of this song. 

No, I do not smoke, but the image that these words illustrates in my mind makes sense. I see a person standing on the beach, thinking. This person is feeling completely alone. Whether they no longer have someone in their life or they just do not feel like they belong in the world, they have no one. I specifically think of myself when I listen to this song. I think of all of the times when I have felt entirely alone. I think of when no one can truly understand what I am going through, and I feel so incredibly detached from the world.

"Another sunny day beneath this cloudless sky
Sometimes I wish it would rain here."

Peace and Love. Leah.

We'll go home and start again.

"When we're old and near the end.
We'll go home and start again."

These lines are from the song "Come to Me" by the Goo Goo Dolls. I cannot even begin to explain how much I love this song. It just is one of those song that makes you feel good. I think these lines in particular make me think of a couple who has went on adventures together. It illustrates the simple idea of growing old with someone. I have interpreted these lines two different ways. The first being more literal, a couple grows old and returns to the town in which they met or grew up. The second being death and the idea of starting again. I like the idea of the latter more. If you have not heard this song, give it a listen.

P.S.- I apologize for not having posted in a while. Life happened. 

Peace and Love. Leah. 

You're scared that you're turning into your mother.

"You tell me that you're scared that you're turning into your mother.
I feel myself turn into my father.
We could lie to each other like they do, and say we're so happy.
It's easy when you're young and you still want it so badly."

I feel that we all try to not become our parents. For me, I am so resistant of the thought that this will happen someday. These lines make me think of that. These lines are from "All I Ever Wanted" by The Airborne Toxic Event. I think that the idea that someone you care for is changing is a scary thought. If something is not working out, you have two options. You can try harder or give up. You have to make the decision. 

Peace and Love. Leah.

Take me to the river.

"I was wrong again 
Take me to the river 
And make me clean again."

I believe that I had the song "The River" by Manchester Orchestra on repeat for about two weeks when I first discovered it. This song is about someone facing struggles and making mistakes. They simply want grace from God, and they feel that God will not save them because they keep making mistakes. The religious connection with this song makes me feel comforted by it. I think we as humans have such a high standard set in place for us, and sometimes when we do fail, we feel that it is incredibly difficult to forgive ourselves. It is sometimes inconceivable that God would be willing to give us grace. I think about how it would be difficult for me to keep forgiving someone of their mistakes, but then again, God will always be there for you. Keep marching on.

Peace and Love. Leah. 

While I slowly untie my tongue.

"Please wait while I slowly untie my tongue tonight
I pray by some feeble attempt my words would tell you what my heart has to say."

The opening lines of "Changed By You" by Between The Trees so simply explain my exact thoughts most of the time. I have such a difficult time with connecting words together to form a coherent sentence that can do my feelings justice. Whether I end up spewing too many words from my mouth and telling a long, drawn out story, I feel that this song explains it perfectly. Whether you are trying to tell someone how much they mean to you, or simply explaining how you feel about something, I think this song hits home. I think of the times when I was at a loss for words when asked to explain my feelings. How can someone eloquently put how they feel? Listen and enjoy.

Peace and Love. Leah.

I'd follow you in.

"Until now, I knew this of myself
That if you had thrown yourself down
Into the lion's den
My brother I'd follow you in."

We all have felt betrayal at some point in our lives. I think back to the times that I would have done anything for someone and he/she hurt me instead. I have learned that girls can be especially cruel. You live and learn.

I felt wrong neglecting the song "Iscariot" by Walk The Moon when I posted about Walk The Moon. Considering that this song is not like any of the other songs on their album, I felt it was worth mentioning. The strong biblical references in this song are undoubtedly about betrayal. Give the song a listen.

Peace and Love. Leah.